Dark Times

I've had the song "Dark times" by The Weeknd and Ed Sheeran on loop for a while now. A long while.

My brother is getting sick of the song already...and of my Ed + Weeknd voice lol.

I hate that every time I pick up the pen to write these days, it's always touchy-feely stuff that rolls out. I want to write about TORMENT, and PASSION, and DEATH, and LIFE...you know, serious stuff. Intellectual stuff. Spiritual stuff too. I guess my muse has a story it wants to tell but my fingers aren't catching the drift.

Oh well...I'll write whatever comes.

Check out these lyrics from the song:

"In my dark times I've still got some problems I know

Driving too fast but just moving too slow

And I've got something I've been trying to let go

Pulling me back every time..."

I decided to stop listening to The Weeknd's songs a couple of months ago because I felt like he was too raw...his lyrics can be really explicit and I'm careful what goes into my subconscious.

In the words of a brilliant writer who introduced me to him, "The Weeknd finds the dark part of you and stirs it up."

She knew what she was talking about...trust me. This song is deep.

Many people who seem to be failing in life (probably addicted to drugs, or getting terrible grades, or being sexually perverse) are actually stuck in the middle of a tug-of-war between their urges and their true, genuine desires. 

Those "Dark times" come and they find themselves getting "pulled back"...find themselves back on "the streets".

I wrote this tiny poem a week ago and I think it captures what I'm trying to say here:

Too often;

Too often do I make and break those lofty resolutions:

Yearly goals and quarterly targets.

I step out to conquer but get trampled by tribulations.

Too often

Too often do I try to get it right; 

To toe the line and defeat temptation;

I put your law before me but it seems to vanish from my sight.

Too often!

Too often do I languish in melancholy;

My wings are poised but I have no zeal to fly.

I feel your light on me but I'm bound by the walls of my humanity.

Sometimes it's so difficult to do what we really want to...to live how we really planned to. 

But in those dark times, we have to remember that there's a higher power. And that power has been divinely fused into our spirit through God himself. We gotta channel that power. And yes...when it feels too daunting, it's okay to cry out.

If you believe, help will come.