Truth

Who are you?
Really... who are YOU?
What exactly do you stand for?

I've asked myself these questions and more a lot of times in the past year.
I thought I knew.
But I realized that it's one thing to "think" you're something and it's another thing to actually "BE" that thing.

I looked at my life and the choices I've made, the words I've said, the thoughts I've entertained... and I wondered, "Who are you kidding? Where's the congruency? The smooth plane upon which the vehicles of who you are, what you say, what you think and what you do, should run in unison like a royal motorcade?"

I realized that I was caught in the same kind of dilemma that plagued the apostle Paul of the Bible. He said, "The things I desire to do, I don't do them... while the things I hate, I find myself engaging in them"...or something like that.
I don't know it verbatim.
The point is, there was internal and external disparity.

So I went searching. Looking for something, anything, that would help me bring structure, order, into my life. A system, a philosophy, a principle, whatever.
No, I didn't go barging into people's faces with questions about philosophy, neither did I go on some crazed research into psychology or conation or stuff like that.

I just opened my mind.
I merely planted a seed in my consciousness,  an inbuilt awareness toward material that would be helpful in this quest.
And I realized that most of the time, we get what we're looking for. Things that our minds are open to. Things that have slipped from our "conscious", into our "subconscious" and continue to send vibrations of psychic energy into our world.
Because I found Brendon Burchard, a vivacious and engaging trainer who specializes in high performance and personal transformation.
And among the multitude of actionable advice I gleaned from his teachings, this was the one that resonated the most with my spirit and reverberated in the halls of my mind.
He said, "What three words define who you are (or who you want to be) as a person? Pick them. Also, what three words define you, in your relationships with others? Pick them. These points make up your TRUTH. When you tailor your thoughts, words and actions such that they are congruent with this paradigm, this culture, then you can say you're LIVING YOUR TRUTH."

I took his advice.
So here's mine: I've chosen to be God-focused, Self-confident, and Organised. At all times. And in relationships, I'll be Loving, Understanding, and Inspiring.

Doing this has set a standard for me, a guide to help keep me in check... my TRUTH.

I ran into trouble a lot though, because there's  a lesson I needed to learn. Yeah, I remember something I read: there are no mistakes, only lessons. Life repeats the lesson till it's learnt, and life gets your attention through pain.
Pain. Something that can't be communicated. Only experienced.
It took pain for me to learn: nobody is worth living a lie for.
Nobody is worth denying yourself for.

Sometimes we step aside from our TRUTH because of a job, a social event, or most of all, a relationship.
But you know the painful truth? You alone will bear the consequences.
Because life is about survival. And when it comes right down to it, every person has a tiny little thing called 'self preservation' hard-wired into their brains.

So, define your truth. Stand by it and stick to it. And like a smoking ember which needs the littlest fanning effort to transform into a glowing flame, that daily decision to live YOUR TRUTH will lead you to evolve into that person you want to be.
A person you'd be proud of.